Ceviche, Cebiche or Seviche is its nearest cousin; Filipinos look like Mexicans.

If you don’t know what Ceviche is, it is Sashimi in steroids.

Any seafood that  can be eaten raw, meaning fresh, meaning smelling like the sea, meaning you bought it yourself and you are dead sure you won’t kill yourself, can be made into the illustrious Kinilaw. And to be straightforward, the following ingredients are the only things you need for half a kilo of your fresh seafood:

Vinegar. Just at the level of all the ingredients put together. And if you are using wine vinegar, you should have drunk it instead.

Ginger. As big as your thumb for each half a kilo. And if you are using a knife to peel it, you’re wasting it, you should have skinned it with a spoon.

Onion. A small one will do. And if you are crying while chopping it, same here. You are not alone. Michael’s alive.

Srping Onions. A stalk. And yes, I misspelled that in purpose to exercise your tongue.

Chili Pepper. A looooong red one.

Salt and Sugar. Amount depends on your discretion.

And half a kilo of any seafood that can be eaten raw. Deja Vu…

Those are our cornerstones for our basic Kinilaw recipe. I understand that when you are a Filipino in the North Pole, I would just make you cry If I would have included calamansi there or even lime. But for those who have access to it, we hate you.

All the spices should be chopped finely as a rule… unless you are as lazy as me and you would rather bravely chomp the spices like chicken nuggets, go ahead, kill your taste buds. If you are doing a fish Kinilaw recipe as I am doing now, slice them in bite sizes. For everything else – oysters, scallops, sea urchins, shrimps, etc… let them be as they are. Let them die with dignity.

Mix them all in a ceramic or a glass bowl because you don’t want to mess with the flavors.

And you’re done! You can mix in coconut milk but you would duel with yourself after a few hours so don’t tell me I didn’t warn you. You can also substitute salted eggs for salt with no side effects. But don’t devour it yet. You need to wait for at least two and a half hours for the flavors to meld, stirring occasionally.

Kinilaw could have been named Adobo if the Spaniards have seen it first because this is the literal meaning of the word. It is actually a MARINADE in all caps and bold letters. You do not put her in a fiery furnace, you bathe her with your own fingers. And as opposed to what everyone thinks that this recipe came from whoever raped our women, no… it is actually embedded in our existence. Bathala made it.  It is the food of our gods. It is the companion of our drunk poets. Kinilaw is the savior of the Filipino fisherman who spend days out at sea without his wife with only a bottle of fermented coconut juice to make Kinilaw in order to keep him warm while hugging his hard earned blue fin tuna which he will happily relinquish to our eager mouths like the clouds giving up its precious rain to the parched land.

I’m fast forwarding this to two hours and a half because nobody said it can only be done in TV. Now eat.

If you feel like reading stuffs today, here’s more about the History of Filipino Food