For people who are new in the kitchen, in this spare ribs recipe, you will learn how to love the food that you make because this beauty will be the start of you as the envy of your friends, the secret weapon of your family and the most attractive first date anyone can have…thus is the power of the hand that rocks the wok.

Let’s start our love affair with a trip to the market. Tell yourself to do your market this weekend. You want to do it this weekend because you are not going to the supermarket but to the farmer’s market, to the wet market, to the market where people who are passionate with food go. Get infatuated with those weird looking, chemical-free, no botox vegetables instead of the greenhouse, perfectly shaped, silicon frankensteins. You have to know where that market is because that is where our love will have its seeds.

Here’s our shopping list on this stop:

4 large tomatoes

1 large red onion

4 red chili peppers

1 bunch of spring onions

But I tell you those aren’t the only things that you will buy because the people will be so loud and lovely you’d buy anything they sell. Tell everyone that you are excited about your new spare ribs recipe and get suggestions as well. Your main aim on this trip though is to know at least one vendor because you will need discounts when you come back. I also assume that you have eaten at least one market food while you’re adventuring.

You will also need:

1 Butcher

1.5 kg Pork Ribs. Get the fattest slab of ribs. You don’t want an undernourished meal.

Be friendly with the butcher because he has the hugest of knives. Ask his name like a politician, get interested so you won’t get bad meat. Claim him as your own. My butcher’s name is Paul, he prepares very thin cuts of eye fillet for my daughter and he calls me Ziggy Stardust. These guys are gentle giants so don’t be scared. Most of them listen to Celine Dion and recite poetry anyway.

When you step out of the market you will feel good I assure you. It is good to connect with humans. They can talk too.

Next trip –  The Asian Store. The Variety store. The Deli. Before you enter, you have to remember to smile a lot because you will get  a lot. Spread the love.

You will buy:

A bottle of Soy Sauce preferably the Silver Swan brand or at least a bottle of dark Chinese soy sauce. In the recipe you need a fourth of a cup.

A liter of Mountain Dew. Yes the lemon-lime soda of the new generation. Let me stress again that Filipino food is convenience food; it will grab any ingredient in its reach as long as it makes the food delicious. I don’t know who discovered this but I am not questioning. If you can’t find it, any lemon-lime soda will do. We need 2 cups for the recipe.

Chorizos. You need 2 schlongs. This is optional though.

Now you’re back at home with your new found veggie friends. If you brought the butcher home, good on you. Turn on your favorite chill out music. Put all the stuff that we need for the recipe on the table so we can start the therapy. Get your most comfortable knife and start chopping the vegetables on a slow pace. Don’t be too fussed about how to chop it right because after you cook them they will all turn to a pulp. Ease up. Meditate. Think of your mother. When was the last time you called her? What about your closest friends? And when was the last time you enjoyed a good date? What else do you need to make your house a happy home? Isn’t it time to forgive those who trespassed you? And while your sharp knife is slicing and chopping stuff you can think of ways to attain world peace too.

If you think you that was too emo because you are hardcore and it inappropriately touched your sensitive parts, grab your slab of ribs quick and start cutting flesh. Slash the slab lengthwise through the spaces of flesh in between bones. You are Samurai. We want to eat them with our hands later so make one-bone slices. You are barbarian.

Now get a deep pot or wok, throw them all in and pour your liquids. Mix them thoroughly. Make sure that your bones have that soy sauce stain on them. Cover the pot, cook on high heat and bring to a boil and lower the heat to the lowest to simmer. It shouldn’t be boiling like it’s angry, it should only give you little Barbie and Ken bubbles.

Chillax for 2 hours. Where’s the butcher that you brought home? Call up your friends or invite someone you want to impress and tell them you have a wicked spare ribs recipe in the works.

The liquid in the pot would have turned into a thick sauce now. Start taking off the rib slices one by one. The meat would be very tender and almost falling off the bone so be careful not to ruin it. After you’ve taken them all off, get a masher or a huge spoon and start mashing what is left in the pot. Pour the sauce on your ribs. I mean the rib slices. You shouldn’t be burning yourself. Slice your spring onions and do the garnish.

If you’re on a date, on the left is a suggestion of how it would look like.

To make the fried rice, place the wok on high heat, pour some of your spare ribs sauce in, wait for it to boil and throw in some steamed rice and start tossing like you’re in a circus for three minutes. Get a small bowl, fill it up with your fried rice and stick it upside down on your serving plate.

I saw a can of pineapple rings loitering inside the cupboard so I tossed them on the pan to sear for 3 minutes on each side and threw the hoops on top of our instant fried rice.

And those are three pieces of your spare ribs finished with chopped spring onions.

The main reason why I shared this spare ribs recipe is because it is very easy to make. I learned how to love cooking through this dish (although technically what we just did was cut the meat and vegetables, dump it on the pot and wait for the sauce to thicken). Through this, I experimented and learned what and how much to put of this and that. Suddenly, a tomato has different faces. And finally, when I put this on the table; my father is not angry with me for a while, my date would actually stay and eat and not receive an urgent call from a friend, and my friends call me by my first name. Sweet spankin’ spare ribs for the win.

Try this spare ribs recipe because your notes will follow from here.

Here’s a post on what’s the ideal market for Kris from The Food Notebook blog.