Written by: seigfredtristan on March 10, 2010

courtesy of Marie-Lan Nguyen/Wikimedia Commons

Let me tell you a story:

One day in heaven, the creator of all things, Kabunian, woke up all giddy because he decided that he would cook humans. And by cooking he means to create them. So he molded from clay the face, limbs and the whole glorious figure of the human form… then he prepared fire and cooked it. After cooking he blew the breath of life on the culinary wonder. The concoction giggled and jumped from his palms and wandered on the face of the earth. Unbeknown to the creation, Kabunian thought to himself, “I overcooked the poor thing. He is black.”. So the following morning, he was back in the kitchen for another episode of Human Making 101 but this time he said, “I think I screwed up again, I undercooked the poor thing. It’s white and pale”. Restless and unsatisfied, the following morning he woke up early and headed straight to the kitchen for what will appear to become his masterpiece. Convicted that he is now sure how to make the perfect human, he molded, cooked and breathed his spirit to the obra maestra and this time he said, “It is good. Not overcooked, not undercooked, just the perfect color, the perfect tan, so he hand-put them on a group of island paradise which is the Philippines and called them Filipinos”.

Before I go on though, I really do not understand why a lot of Filipinos want to bleach the color of their skin, really. But that’s another story.

Now I just want to make clear that the story above is not from my one-track-mind imagination. It is actually one of the many creation stories of our Filipino ancient Thundercats. Although the story sounds racist if not xenophobic, this is one story that you want to tell people from other races (make sure they are sober) and be proud wearing that tan.

Again, how many brands of whitening soaps do we have in the Philippines?

Now I will attempt to account the History of Filipino food.

According to history the first ever settlers in the Philippines are the black people via ice bridges; locally, we call them Aetas. As history tells they are most likely be Aborigines from Australia or from where else, Africa. They are hunter-gatherers, so you can imagine the food would most likely be a lot of barbecue meat with either fruit or garden salad. Barbecued wild boar, fish, deer would be the centerpiece of the table with a side dish of seaweed or herb salad. We can also imagine that they have brought with them the technology of fire, pottery, fermentation and preservation. There is another theory that along with these Aetas, Austronesians also filled up the northern part of the Philippines and may have been responsible of the Banaue Rice Terraces

I assume that some of the popular earliest dishes would be:

Adobo, but only with salt and vinegar.

Daing or Tuyo – dried, preserved fish.

Kinilaw which is raw fish marinated in vinegar (though I doubt it because it may have been brought in centuries later because, come to think of it, it is actually Ceviche).

Sinigang, which is a fish or meat soup with a fantastic acid kick.

Pinakbet, Dinengdeng and Kinilnat which are all a royal rumble of vegetables in fish sauce (and later, during the trading centuries, would be redefined with shrimp paste).

Paksiw, which is meat, most likely fish meat, cooked in vinegar.

Linagpang, which is, barbecued meat finished with boiling water for a soup base.

Dinuguan, a stew of pig’s intestines, meat and blood.

If you are eating any of these from this moment forward you know that you are eating ancient dishes which as we all see on TV, anything ancient is magical and will give thou superpowers. If you reach the minimum number of times eating these foods, Kabunian will grant you powers so you can see through walls. Trust me. Ever wondered why that old Filipina missus has an arsenal of gossip about everyone around the neighborhood? X-ray eyes baby. Strong stuff these recipes I tell you.

Unfortunately, those who burned the Royal Library of Alexandria made a detour to the mythical Ancient Library of Manila and fed on the edible Pasig papyrus books until they have finished all the Alibata they can devour with popcorn-salt. So, for those who know anyone who has excellent knowledge of the history of Filipino food, please do invite them to comment here as obviously and I admit, I am assuming. And if you are a Filipino historian, please please please, look at us… we are statues in the middle of this barren memory, steadily holding a thumbs-up sign, so in case you are driving by with your plutonium-fueled, Delorian DMC-12 time machine,  you may have pity on us and let us hitchhike to the time where most Filipinos forget to remember.

Please Kabunian, send us your messengers (with the Doc and Marty Mcfly too) and punish Filipinos who use bleaching soaps.

Continue on to History of Filipino Food, Malay Influence