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ASKMRKITCHENERO

After fighting against the devil and his hordes of giant squirrels in a well in Timbuktu, Mr Kitchenero experienced an enlightenment and was sold the pink colored Halo-of-Awesome-Knowingness by the local tour guide. At least that’s what he said. In our hypnotized state of hearing hundreds of his conquests (we actually got tired of him), we hired him as the resident guru of just about anything (now we can’t get rid of him). He can answer questions with flawless precision (we would like to believe). Questions like: who will you end up with in the future, is your father a secret agent, did the chef put hair in your soup, is the Loch Ness monster a carp in a costume, when will the world end and any question that you can possibly imagine. He said he knows them all.

Why don’t you try asking him the question of your lifetime?

20 Comments »

  • Luis said:

    Dear Mr. Kitchenero,

    How to cook hotel like scrambled eggs?

    Estong

    Dear Estong,

    First and foremost, you cannot cook a hotel. Secondly, (if that did not answer your question or you meant otherwise) I haven’t tasted a hotel yet (or licked any of its inedible surfaces) so I don’t know what is a hotel like scrambled eggs either. Thirdly, eggs are fragile either inside or outside the shell… so you cannot really build them into hotels.

    I think you are confused.

    Yours truly,

    Mr. Kitchenero

  • Luis said:

    ha! i should have said hotel/restaurant cooked-like scrambled eggs.

    get serious now! i don’t visit this site for nothing you know!

    Dear Luis/Estong,

    Mr. Kitchenero’s answers are irrevocable my child. Unfortunately, your time of counsel has passed. I will answer you again on the next full moon. A chicken sacrifice will please me though…

    Love,

    Mr. Kitchenero

    Next please.

  • Luis said:

    Mr. Kitchenero,

    Sadly, DHL does not deliver poultry. What a pickle I am in!

  • Grafton Uranus said:

    Dear Mr. Kitchenero,
    1. Why do Emeril Lugassi’s studio audience always burst into applause everytime garlic or pork fat is mentioned?
    2. Is Nigela Lawson’s yaya a Filipina? Why is she always caught in her show slipping out food from the refrigerator, and straight into her lovely mouth?

    Curiosly,
    G. Uranus, M.C.A.H.


    Dear Grafton,

    Fix your name first. It is offensive. What Lugassi are you talking about? Either you are dyslexic or he is not born yet. I can BAM him to existence if you ask me for a boyfriend. I know what you are doing when you are watching Nigella. You have killed a lot of puppies. You ask too many questions you need to pluck that thing off so you can stop stuttering. You are a boy or a girl. That’s a statement.

    Lots of logs,

    Mr. Kitchenero

  • thespitsmaster said:

    Dear Mr. Kitchenero,

    First, how do you make an “eggy in a basket”?

    Second, how many times can you reuse oil?

    and third, Long Live JCL!

    Thank You,

    spits


    Dear thespitsmaster,

    How many times do I need to tell the world that I want to answer only 1 question per human being? Those who make eggy in a basket are on drugs. Who would want to dig a hole in a thin piece of bread and plant an egg in it? You also have to be specific with your questions. What kind of oil would you like to reuse? Where do you want to apply it? What I suggest for you to do is use it as a suntan and bathe yourself in glorious solar power. Can I call you Crispy?

    Love,
    Mr. Kitchenero

  • jheck said:

    dear mr. kitchenero,

    just wanna ask how to cook lasagna the filipino style?

    much respect,
    jheck


    Dear Jheck,

    The best person who can cook an amazing Filipino Lasagna is your mother.

    Your Father,
    Mr. Kitchenero

  • sechsey said:

    How to cook without the traditional vetsin? Any substitute?

    I grew up with it and never learned the “without” version.

    thanks!

    ps:

    u should put up a recipe great for Christmas.. Traditional desserts too!

  • Nikki said:

    Dear Mr Kitchenero,

    Hello! I’ve been a quiet lurker around your blog. I was wondering if you could come up with a “lazy” version of Pinoy kakanin or something :)

    Thanks :)

    Nikki


    Dear Nikki,

    I could come up with any version of pinoy kakanin, lazy, jumpy or whatever you fancy if… you give me your mom’s email address. I’m lonely you know.

    Love,

    Mr. Kitchenero

  • thesptismaster said:

    Dear Mr. Kitchenero,

    I need your help. Do you have a brokeass recipe or something? Like if i had a budget of $10? Anything. Something.

    Thank you.

    thespitsmaster



    Dear Spitsmaster,

    Your handle is yucky.

    I will assume that dollar sign is Namibian dollar. Currently 1 Namibian dollar is 0.13175 US dollars. So… you asked the wrong person because I don’t know what 10 Namibian dollars can buy. I suggest you find a tribe chief or a witch doctor. My advice is – hunt for squirrels.

    Love,

    Mr. Kitchenero

  • Jogels said:

    What is a Brokeass?? LOL I so wonderland

  • FrkShow said:

    How come your rules say “No spam”? Spam is delicious! I would like to know if you have any good recipes using spam.

  • ozne said:

    how can you cook a mouth watering chicken and pork adobo?

  • ouksenghap said:

    hello this salvation army student , what is the ingredient to lasagna? A nd what is needed

  • jennev said:

    pls.. po i nedd the picture,, plss…. dqoh po ma copy paste.

  • fy said:

    Hey! I can’t seem to reply back to your twitter message, so I’ll answer you here. I hardly remember now but I think I found your page from link hopping to several Filipino food sites yesterday. Hope u don’t mind if I link to your site. That’s usually how I remember visiting my favorite pages. ciao!

  • Sous Sai said:

    Dear Manong,

    Do you have a KRR-like java rice recipe..? I have been craving for it lately, but KRR is not as famous here in his homeland compared to the PI.

    Thanks,

    Sai

  • Jr follower said:

    Dear Kitchenero,

    Luis / Estong asked: “How to cook hotel like scrambled eggs?”

    First and last, the key word is hotel like, thus you did not have to break it down into First and foremost, Thirdly…

    Be nice to your followers that’s all.

    Thanks,

    Jr follower.

  • Jayson said:

    Why does my wife think filipino spaghetti is nasty?

  • Flos said:

    Hi! I find your blog really interesting! I love the things that you feature. If ever, can I get your email address, if you would be open for some ideas, suggestions or information on which I can share?

  • Sir Albularyo said:

    This is the first Filipino blog I’ve seen that gives a rat’s ass about Pinoy culinary history. Witty and articulate but there is no About page, if there is, I cannot find it. You have potential, I suggest consulting a branding expert. Good luck!

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